Lately I’ve been thinking that even when things are good, life can get messy.
I was talking with one of my sons tonight and I was trying to describe how I was feeling. “Weird” was one word that came to mind. Nothing major was wrong. I slept pretty well last night, I’m getting things done, the house was more organized than it had been in weeks, and yet there’s this unmistakable feeling of mild anxiety… as if something was just a little off-kilter. Not in a glaring, loud way, but in a more subtle, quiet way.
I wondered whether it was the news, out-of-control politics, shifts that were happening in my life, aging, or just the typical worries we all carry around. I explained to him my worry that, if on the best of days, things can get messy, what about the days that were messy to begin with?
On good days (and not so good days, too) things happen — appointments are missed; alarms don’t go off; cars stop working. (The car of one of my best friends was recently destroyed by a totally unpredictable bad weather event.)
And speaking of weather, there are days when we need rain and we only get sunshine, and days when we’re desperate for sunshine and it pours. There are routine doctor’s appointments that throw us a wild card, phone calls with upsetting or even worse news, and then, of course, relationships that evolve and change — sometimes slowly and sometimes suddenly and seemingly overnight. Wrong turns, mistakes and missteps and misunderstandings happen unexpectedly. I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea. So much — actually, just about everything — is outside of our control. And even though on some level we know it, we still crave control and act as if we might, by digging deeper, be able to find it.
As I talked with my son, we finally settled on the fact that things just plain felt unsettled.
And it wasn’t just me. He shared his own list.
Maybe you’ve noticed it too.
I actually checked my astrology chart online, searching for a paragraph that would explain my current situation. I found one and shared it with my friend whose car had been totaled, and even though her birthday wasn’t even close to mine, she accepted my astrology prediction as her own.
And please forgive this somewhat disorganized post — all I can think of sharing right now is this:
If you’re having one of those days, or one of those stretches, remember to be kind. See if the universe brings someone into your life who you can assist in some small, or even big, way. And remember that most everyone has more going on inside than we might think, and not all of it is good or easy or without some level of angst and pain.
A short time after typing this last sentence, my son sent me a note that said:
“Not every season is meant to feel comfortable. Some are meant to shape us. Stay grounded, be kind, and keep moving forward. What feels uncertain today may become the reason you’re stronger tomorrow.”
Bingo.
I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
Paul
Feeling the same way - unsettled is a good word for it. I've been dealing with too many major issues and right now, today, was a good day. But there is a lingering feeling of feeling out of sorts or unsettled. I appreciate your thoughts and especially your son's very succinct wording. As you said yourself - Bingo. Thank you to you both for putting things in perspective. ❤️
I so can relate to this feeling. I have been feeling it myself of late. I always want to understand why I feel a certain way; not enough to know the feeling but the origin seems important to me. But my recent daily angst for lack of a better word doesn't seem to have a specific reason behind it. Just a low hum of something in the background and when I search for a source I find everything is in good order. Perhaps it's an opportunity to reflect with gratitude on all that is working and let go of the concern that something else might be off? I must say it's reassuring when someone as "together" as you has these episodes. I appreciate you and what you have to say.