Sometimes No Answer Is Your Answer
I have been waiting to hear back from my barber.
A while back, I suggested that he might want to offer a subscription service to regular customers like me. My thought was simple: I’d pay a monthly fee and have the option of stopping in once a week for a trim or touch-up. He’d have a reliable monthly income and loyal customers, and I’d stay looking a little more well maintained.
He liked the idea and said he’d get back to me.
Since that conversation... radio silence.
This morning I was about to send him a note to see where he stood or what he was thinking when I realized something that, if I’m honest, I’ve often ignored.
His lack of a response was a response.
No answer was an answer.
It reminded me how often we communicate through our actions rather than our words. I know this isn’t rocket science, and I suspect many of you have figured this out long before I did. I’m still catching up.
At the same time, I’m also trying to do a better job of using my words when something matters. I want to get better at saying what I think, what I feel, what I need, and what I hope for instead of expecting people to somehow read my mind—or interpret my actions correctly.
Maybe that’s the lesson I’m taking away today.
Sometimes no answer is your answer.
And sometimes the clearest, kindest thing we can do for someone else is simply answer using our words.
What are your thoughts?
This was so timely for me. While I too could learn from the no answer being an answer, I absolutely feel that is so much kinder to answer, even briefly. Even an emoji, a thumbs up, anything that communicates the message was seen. I have family that will text me, I respond and then....crickets. It's maddening and I wish they would just say "I'm busy" or anything instead of leaving me hanging. But, I do think I could move along faster if I just accepted that no answer was in fact an answer. A sign of the times?
I agree, Paul. The non-responders in my life have moved on, and I was patiently waiting to hear back from them. Your barber made it clear — no response means no interest. Thanks, Paul, for your wisdom, and also for recommending my Substack.